


You Remain.

by scydiastilinski



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, jjpope get the happy ending they deserve, jjpope through the years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25465435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scydiastilinski/pseuds/scydiastilinski
Summary: The first time Pope notices, they’re 14 and sitting together in science class. Dark brown eyes cast down on the doodles that are scattered around JJ’s textbook, contrasting to the notes Pope has all over his own. If he isn’t impressed by how neat they look, he would tell him off for not paying attention in class. He finds it endearing really, more than anything else. Hours later, when he’s home doing his homework, he’s glaring at questions that are waiting for answers the teacher didn’t explain or maybe she did, but he was too engrossed by what JJ’s next doodle is gonna be.
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	You Remain.

Pope knows that JJ likes to bend the rules, but it’s known to anyone that ever interacted with him, although he thinks he’s the only one who knows that JJ dislikes lettuce, he watches him pull it out from the sandwich Big John packs for him with John B everyday for school. He knows that JJ has trouble finding a focal point sometimes. He knows that JJ gets frustrated when he can’t do something right from the get go, especially when the others can. He knows that JJ has a heart of gold, but he has to trust you to show you. He knows that JJ always wanted to have a dog, but his dad never allowed him, which takes him to the fact that he knows JJ hates his dad and it’s linked to the way JJ avoids mentioning his mom. But what he didn’t know is that JJ can draw, the first time Pope notices, they’re 14 and sitting together in science class. Dark brown eyes cast down on the doodles that are scattered around JJ’s textbook, contrasting to the notes Pope has all over his own. If he isn’t impressed by how neat they look, he would tell him off for not paying attention in class. He finds it endearing really, more than anything else. Hours later, when he’s home doing his homework, he’s glaring at questions that are waiting for answers the teacher didn’t explain or maybe she did, but he was too engrossed by what JJ’s next doodle is gonna be.

* * *

At 15, they switch textbooks by accident. The next day, Pope finds similar scribbles on his own and an arrow with his name at the start of it pointing towards JJ’s attempt of drawing him. Pope smiles to himself the moment he sees it, and thinks of JJ thinking of him when he drew it. A thought comes to his mind that night, but he hastily buries it deep using the thoughts of the pretty girl they befriended today. Kiara, even her name is pretty. He looks it up on the internet because why not? There are different meanings, but “bright” and “first ray of sun” catch his interest and he can’t help it but think of JJ’s blue eyes and blonde hair. He panics, clears his search history, shuts his computer off then heads to bed, for sure he can sleep this feeling off. 

* * *

At 16, Pope kissed her, a day ago to be exact, few hours before John B and Sarah been declared lost and before JJ spent the night weeping in his arms then leaving the next morning with a note on Pope’s bedside table that has a heart on it and _“I’ll be so safe for you.”_ He smiles at the reference, but then the awareness of where JJ could be hits him square in the face, he’s sprinting towards it, heart slamming with each and every step he makes and prays that the nightmare they stumbled in doesn’t get increasingly dreadful. He doesn’t knock on the front door and he’s lucky that Luke isn’t home. He finds what he assumes is JJ’s bedroom door ajar, he regrets not knocking because JJ flinches and shoots from his bed, but then at the sight of him, he eases and greets him with a broken smile, but Pope can’t find comfort in it like before. His eyes are glued on the new bruises tainting JJ’s face and neck, he’s sure there are more underneath his sweatshirt. Steadily, the scorching feeling of guilt crawls on his body and slashes at his chest, each slash reminding him that the faint bruises, along with the fresh ones too are there because of him, he’s the one that sank the boat and he’s the one that suggested for JJ to get the phantom. He feels choked up and at a loss for words, can’t bare it, so he does what he seems to want to do all the time now, he seals the gap between them and hugs JJ tight, eyes shut as the other tucks his face onto the crock of his neck, his arms finding their way to his waist, fists clench in his shirt, desperate. JJ shakes with each cry, pouring his heart out and forcing Pope’s eyes to snap open, alarmed and sorrowful, they land on a portrait of a pretty blonde woman on the wall next to the bed, it’s the only colored one from the many surrounding it. There’s something akin about it, but Pope can’t pinpoint it now, he’s withdrawing his face and arms, the first is to gaze deep in his best friend’s eyes, while the second are to cradle his face, begging him to come back home with him to where soon his mom would find one of his drawings on the coffee table and proudly display it on the fridge.

* * *

At 17, it’s one of those rare days where JJ is the first to wake up, he relishes it, face lighting up while soaking in the pretty living sight next to him. The morning sunlight glowing up Pope’s charming features lands him an idea he has been wanting to do since forever. He rolls over and reaches as much as the arm of his boyfriend around his waist allows him and grabs the sketchbook and a pencil he has stored inside the bedside table’s second drawer. He then boldly, risking the other waking up, stays on his stomach, elbows sinking onto the mattress as they support his upper body’s weight and begins to outline ‘Pope’s squished by the pillow face’ on paper. He thinks about the events of yesterday, One minute, he was upstairs texting a quick apology to Kie for leaving her on read. The other, Pope was calling for him from downstairs, He ditched the phone forgetting to press send and headed to where his boyfriend’s eager voice leads. A grinning Pope walked towards him broadcasting that he got in, and JJ with a big splash of adoration splattered on his features ran to meet him in the middle, yelling “I knew it!” with each step till he’s mumbling it against Pope’s lips. Heyward came home with Pizza in hand and a face and mouth that echoed the words JJ and Mrs. Heyward had been telling Pope since the afternoon, “I’m so proud of you.” They ate in the living room with a movie of Pope’s choice on TV. Heyward settled on his old la z boy, while Mrs. Heyward on her usual one seat sofa. JJ and Pope shared the big couch but not taking much space from it, JJ was practically on Pope’s lap the whole time. The happiness of the moment wore off at night for JJ, he slept with the thought that soon the bed won’t be as warm. Apparently it’s still looming up there, therefore he ditches his sketchbook and plants his desperate quivering lips on Pope’s, startling him awake. JJ tries to savour the feeling of Pope’s hand cupping the back of his head as he kisses him back then rolling them so JJ’s back is resting on the mattress. _He’s still here._

From their bedroom doorway he watches him pack his old life, he leaves before the other notices his presence and if he cries he doesn’t show it at dinner.

Pope’s parents touch load him enough strength to not crumble as they watch him head to a new life, and what they hope is a better one.

* * *

At 18, it’s the start of a new chapter, it’s a cruel one and they both cry over it every now and then. In order to pass it they have to write it - and they do, not a day passes without them finding space to face-time, it could be for a stolen 5 minutes, or an hour or two. Today has been kind, giving them the latter, Pope is tucked away in his foreign dorm whilst JJ is in Pope’s childhood bedroom that became theirs down the line. JJ beams, eyes darting towards his sketchbook as Pope talks about the currents. At some point JJ asks him if he ventured around, Pope eagerly with lots of gesture and flailing goes on about where he’ll take him when he visits. Normally JJ would find it adorable and just sit and admire, but he’s really trying to draw him, “Pope, cut the movement to minimum,” He begs, and the other commands a smile still dancing on his features, “Sorry.”

JJ realises that Pope is in one of his funny moods, because then he’s pursuing where he was interrupted, but he’s talking slowly and his movement is even slower.

“You’re so annoying,” He’s smiling and granting him a look that Pope only gets to witness, one that bares JJ open allowing the fondness to seep.

“But you’re still in love with me.”

“What can I say I’m a fool.”

“For me.’

“That’s correct.” JJ winks, pointing his pencil at him. 

* * *

At 19, JJ pays him a visit and Pope takes him by the hand to the beach nearby. They sit bare feet by the shore, basking in its peacefulness and how akin to home it is. He peeks at JJ after a minute of pleasant silence, discovering the way his gaze is latching on a group of strangers, what could be the mom is running towards two kids with sunscreen in hand. There’s a sheen to JJ’s blue eyes, Pope hopes it’s from the sun, JJ then clears his throat, proving it’s not and brings up his mom for the first time. It takes Pope back, although he listens carefully to every word that’s being uttered. When the first tear trails JJ’s cheek, Pope fetches JJ’s hand out of his sweatshirt pouch and holds it in his own lap. JJ presents him a sweet smile and shares a few vague memories he has of his mom, tells him that she had “passion for art” air quoting it, like it’s an inside joke he had with her, it forms a small smile on Pope’s face.

“She was really good at it, she would get creative every time she poured syrup on my pancakes, each day drawing something new. It stopped eventually, plain pancakes became the norm, until one day I woke up to hear that she’s gone. I despised looking at pancakes for years, all they reminded me of is the way things don’t remain, but then one morning your mom surprised me with a plate stacked with them and I remember her looking at me like she’s expecting me to comment on the way she decorated it and poured the syrup, but-”

“She can’t draw for shit.” Pope continues, chuckling.

“Yeah, I lied to her, like the little bitch I am,” JJ laughs, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his free hand, “But it made the memory of my mom or pancakes at least good again. I don’t think I can thank her enough for that.”

Pope leans a fraction and with a curled index finger he lifts JJ’s chin, forcing their eyes to meet, “I think the best way to do so is by being genuinely happy.”

“I’ve never been happier.”

“Me too. It means a lot that you shared this with me.”

“Thank you for making me feel safe to share it.”

With an aching heart, Pope brings their joined hands to his lips and kisses the top of JJ’s hand, eliciting the blonde to thaw towards his embrace. JJ spends the rest of the evening snuggled to him, opening up. He tells him about the only picture he had of his mom and held dearest was burned by his dad after he asked when she’s coming back, tells him about his tears staining the paper as he drew her and hoped his memory didn’t betray him. It clicks in Pope’s mind that the pretty blonde in that drawing he saw years ago is JJ’s mom, he holds the other tighter, resting his lips on the top of his head.

Even though they’re in public and they shared years of physical intimacy, yet Pope thinks this is the most intimate thing they’ve ever done.

* * *

At 20, Pope comes back home for Christmas and it’s inevitable that JJ uses the first opportunity with no parents in sight to capture his lips in his, Sweeping in the yearning he had to deal with since their departure, their bodies ignite with eagerness. They kiss and kiss then Pope is being pushed against their bedroom door, one arm of JJ is leaving his waist to land on the door handle behind him, hauling them inside where kisses and touches can escalate freely. Room filled to the brim with raspy, delightful breaths, he sees it through hooded eyelids when JJ is hovering above him pressing ravishing kisses on his throat, he’s curious to recognise every piece, but the other’s lips are doing wonderful things.

Come midnight, they’re nose to nose, JJ’s fingers tracing his cheekbones and Pope is mesmerised by those blue dilated eyes. “I see you redecorated the wall,” he comments, popping the other’s nose with the tip of his index. JJ chuckles, “You don’t like it?” Pope shifts on his back, smile broadening when JJ pouts, but it quickly twists back to a beam when Pope opens his arm for him to rest his head on, “Mmmm, let me see.” Pope inspects the room, the drawings are mainly on the wall above his desk, scenery paintings, caricature of Sarah and Kiara saving turtles and another one with John B surfing with a beer in hand, at least 4 sketches of Pope’s face, but the one that his eyes and mind fixate on the most is a portrait of himself, his parents and JJ, he notes how it’s resting next to the one with JJ’s mom. He puts words on the shelf for a bit, and presses his lips on JJ’s.

* * *

At 21, on impulse JJ surprises Pope at his campus. They don’t waste a second with their lips apart, they fall in bed ready to make up for all the lost time. Pope detaches their lips, sitting on his knees only to take off his shirt, JJ props himself on his elbows watching. When it’s off, Pope bends for another deep kiss, but a flushed JJ dodges it, “What is this?” He’s giggling as he sits too. His fingertips mapping the right side of Pope’s rib cage.

Pope cheeks turn pink, “Oh, _that._ I was shit faced, and missing you.”

“And you decided to get a doodle I did, permanently tattooed on your skin.” JJ points out, amused.

“It’s not just a doodle you did, it’s one of the ones you drew on my science textbook back when-” He’s cut off by JJ’s smile greeting his.

A Jolt of affection runs through him at hearing the other happily mumbling, “You kept it.” 

Few kisses later, JJ is pulling back, cradling his cheeks, “Was it super painful?”

Pope shakes his head, resting his forehead against JJ’s.

“Gonna get one tomorrow. Your pick.”

* * *

At 22, they move into a small one bedroom apartment. Mrs. Heyward once told both of them how the first few weeks can be challenging, they didn’t quite believe her, they found themselves sharing a look that guaranteed the other of a forever. She was right to a certain extent, They clash sometimes, small fights happen every once in a while. JJ would complain about Pope’s habit of staying up way too late working in the living room and when Pope is too stubborn and JJ too tired, the blonde would wrap the couch throw around him and curl next to his boyfriend. Pope would complain about JJ’s messy ways, like the way he often forgets to shut the toothpaste cap, but then the tinge of annoyance would vanish as his eyes land on whatever message or drawing JJ left him for the day on the foggy mirror.

* * *

At 23, Kiara is crashing in their living room, and JJ is waiting for Pope to announce that he’s going to bed. It’s past his bedtime after all and he’s already falling asleep on his shoulder. It takes Pope 30 minutes to finally kiss him goodnight on the lips and Kiara on the forehead. When he hears the click of their bedroom door, he turns to Kie, whispering, “I’m gonna propose soon,” which results in her choking on her water. 

“Is it a bad idea?” He chuckles, a bit nervous. 

“No no no.” She untucks herself from the blankets and gets up from the pull out couch to throw her arms around him, “It’s an amazing one. I’m so happy for you two. Please let me be there when it happens.”

“You wish.” He smiles, pulling away then standing up.

“I think I made it clear that I actually do.” 

JJ throws the nearest pillow on her. “Now if you don’t mind me, I’m gonna go sleep next to my future husband.”

“Don’t get it over your head now. Pope could humble you and say no.” She jokes, hugging the pillow to her chest.

“Oh that’s mean,” but he’s laughing and throwing another pillow at her, “you're just bitter that he broke up with you to get with me.” 

“You’re a literal bitch, you know that,” her grin is matching his. JJ is thankful that they can laugh about such a sad confusing time for the three of them. 

Two weeks later, Kie, John B, Sarah are all staying at theirs for the weekend, the pillows and blankets fort already built in its full glory. It’s like every sleep over they had over the years, but it takes a turn when JJ leaves the room with Sarah to get more blankets they can get cosy under. 

“Everything alright?” He asks, watching Sarah open the closet to get the extra blankets on it’s floor. 

“Yeah, why?” She replies, not meeting his gaze as she hands him a blanket at a time. 

“You’ve been eyeing me the whole night. Let me remind you princess that you and I have boyfriends,” he teases. Sarah ignores him and mounts the fourth and last blanket on the three in his arms. The blankets block his front view, but Sarah is _so_ thoughtful that she stands next to him when she flips him off before she leads the way back to their friends. JJ hears murmurs growing louder with each step towards the living room, and when they’re inside it abruptly stops, like Sarah and him weren’t supposed to hear. It weirds him out, so he places the blankets on the couch. Everyone is looking at him, he glances back at Sarah to find her smiling and doing the same, he then turns his head to see Pope ambling towards him, with a nervous smile and two hands behind his back. JJ can feel his heart throbbing in his throat as Pope goes on one knee in front of him.

“No way!” He whispers, before running back to their bedroom. When he’s opening the bottom drawer of their dresser it hits him that they can translate his reaction to a rejection, so he grabs what he’s looking for and heads back to the crowded room. Their eyes are back on him, he sees Kiara in the corner hiding a smile behind her hand, John B looks as if he’s manifesting his own death over witnessing what could be the fall of his best friends relationship and Sarah is kneeling by a defeated Pope’s side with a comforting touch on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have left like that man, I just-” he beaming, eyes already glistening when he kneels in front of Pope, from the corner of his eyes he sees Sarah succumbing back to John B’s lap, mouthing Oh My God to the others as she goes. “I simply want to marry you too,” his voice cracks, “been thinking about that for a long time. I don’t have a speech ready, so I’m gonna pour my heart out, pretend it’s just you and I. I think the best way to start is that if I never met you, I wouldn’t be able to do this, be raw and open about my feelings around others, you better me in every way, and you bring so much happiness to my life and I- I knew you’re special since we were 14, but I was clueless to know in which way. I fell in love with you at 16 and Pope it was terrifying especially when I saw you pinning over this one-” He sends Kiara a quick smile. “Sorry.” He can barely hear her response because there are tears piling in the love of his life eyes. Few tears leave his own when he blinks, “JJ,” Pope starts, voice thick with emotions, but JJ interrupts him, “Let me.”

“I was proposing first,” Pope reminds him, smirking.

“Guys, not now!” John B sighs, throwing his head back in exasperation.

“Shut up, John B, don’t ruin it.” JJ rolls his eyes at his friend, his expressions softening when it’s on Pope again, “Okay, go on babe.”

“No it’s okay, you finish.”

“But-”

“JJ, IF YOU DON’T-” It’s Sarah this time.

“Okay, look,” He clutches the other’s hands, guiding them to his chest, he can sense the ring box Pope bought poking his sternum, “I want a forever with you, I want to keep sleeping and waking up next to you, I want to keep making you roll your eyes every time I say something crass in the wrong place at the wrong time, I want to keep leaving you doodles everywhere I feel like, because for some reason they make your day. I want to keep hearing you complain to your mom about how I always leave my shoes in the middle of the living room and how it reminds her of your dad-”

“Like right now,” Pope remarks, beckoning with his head to where JJ’s converse are.

“Yeah, exactly,” JJ nods and laughs, fully weeping as he reaches for the ring inside his pocket then holds it between them, “I love you so much Pope, so will you make me the happiest man alive and Marry me?” 

“Yes! Of course, JJ. Yes yes yes.”

Their friends fill the room with cheers and congratulations but the world for JJ is slowing and all he can focus on is Pope and how he’s holding his face close to his to pepper it with kisses, mumbling between each I love you’s and promises of forever. When they withdraw JJ puts the ring on Pope, and Pope opens the red ring box and slides the ring on JJ’s finger. They seal their lips again and JJ beams at Pope’s efforts to wipe the tears off his cheek. 

I get older and life fades but **_you remain._ **

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Feedback as always is appreciated! Thank you!


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